


I have thus given my heart

by androgenius



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Courtly Love, Courtship, Dimilix Week (Fire Emblem), First Kiss, First Time, Jousting, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Top Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29427582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgenius/pseuds/androgenius
Summary: Dimilix Week Day 1 - Historical AUDimitri's lord chamberlain, Felix, goes mysteriously missing. At the same time, a mysterious "Black Knight" of unknown name and origin enters into the jousting tourney, intent on dedicating his victory to the crown prince.A coincidence, surely.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58
Collections: 2021 Dimilix Week





	I have thus given my heart

**Author's Note:**

> At first glance, a Medival AU for Dimilix may make no sense, seeing as 3H is just medieval fantasy fun-land with magic and dragons! But then I read [this](https://inky-duchess.tumblr.com/post/614295833994838016) fascinating guide to medieval castle employment and found out that a chamberlain was meant to look after his lord's bedchamber, his clothes, and his happiness, being the first and last person to see his lord each day. 
> 
> Needless to say, I _had to_ make Felix Dimitri's chamberlain.

"Where is Felix?" 

The question leaves him for what feels like the hundredth time that afternoon, unease starting to settle in his gut as he allows his gaze to roam the public stands in the hopes of finding him there.

He's starting to get antsy. Felix wouldn't have decided to sit elsewhere, apart from him-- at least not unprompted. It's not as though they've fought recently, after all. And he's been looking forward to the jousting tourney almost as much-- if not more-- as Dimitri has. 

The stands are already bustling, the people just as excited as he and Felix had been for the grand event. 

"The Lord Chamberlain has not yet been located," Dedue tells him, Dimitri chewing on his bottom lip as he takes Felix's usual seat beside him.

"I'm… sure he'll show up," he mutters, though his words sound hollow even to his own ears. "Please have the grounds searched. I fear something grave must have happened for him to miss such an event."

As Dedue leaves the grandstand, Ingrid is quick to replace him. 

"Pardon me, Your Highness."

"Ingrid. I thought you would be in the pavilions with the combatants."

"That's… actually why I'm here." She clears her throat, her gaze occasionally jumping back to the pavilions. "There is a man here who is insisting that he be allowed to compete. He says he wishes to dedicate his victory to you."

"To me?" Dimitri blinks. "Who is he?"

"He won't say. He calls himself the Black Knight and refuses to remove his armor or identify himself otherwise."

A quiet thrill runs through him, Dimitri more than a little bemused. "I don't see why not. Regardless of whether his boasting is well-placed or not, it should make for a good show, shouldn't it?"

Ingrid nods before excusing herself back to the competitors' tents. 

It quickly becomes apparent that the mysterious new competitor was the one causing the hold-up in the tournament proceedings, as Dimitri watched Ashe enter the grandstand and take his place at the front alongside his bullhorn to address the masses. 

"Welcome, one and all!"

He announces each of the knights as they emerge from their pavilions on horseback, leaving the mysterious black knight for last, Dimitri sitting up a bit straighter even as his gaze keeps searching the general stands for Felix's presence. _Where is he?_

"Our last competitor in the tournament asked simply that we call him the Black Knight, as he wished for his identity to remain hidden. His victory is to be dedicated to the crown prince."

His ensemble _is_ rather unique. Everything from his plate mail to his surcoat are black as pitch, the fabric rather obviously of a fine quality even from this distance. Yet neither surcoat nor his horse's caparison features any sort of heraldic crest or emblem. No sign of familial ties whatsoever, no loyalty to any crown. 

Aside from him, apparently. 

His horse's black hide matches its armor, and Dimitri can't help but maintain his stare at the mysterious knight. It could be no one in his court, but surely, surely a commoner could not enter such a tournament and boast so loudly of his upcoming victory. Perhaps a foreign prince? A lord he met once, hoping to tease him with such a surprise? 

The knights in his service have always been dear to him, especially since his parents' passing, but even so, he can't help but root for the mysterious newcomer fighting in the hopes of… impressing him? Catching his attention?

He's certainly done that.

Even so, his gaze keeps being cast back to the empty seat beside him. Still no sign of Felix.

What would Felix think of the Black Knight? Would he think him pompous and arrogant? Or would he be just as interested as Dimitri is finding himself? He keeps catching himself looking over to his right, ready to remark on this and that technique in use, only to find his seat just as empty as before.

"Still no sign of him?" he asks as Dedue comes up beside him, solemnly shaking his head. 

Taking in a deep breath, he nods, finding it coming out shaky. "All right. Please do keep searching."

He turns back just in time for the final match of the day, the Black Knight squaring off against the other champion thus far-- Lady Galatea, his marshal. 

Leaning in as the two knights rapidly near one another in a gallop, Ashe narrating the action for the crowd, Dimitri finds himself holding his breath once more. So far, the performance of both has been superb, but--

The impact strikes quickly enough that Dimitri almost misses it. As the two meet at midlist, both lances striking shields, Ingrid's lance ricochets off the Black Knight's shield to tear into his thigh. 

Still, the Black Knight's lance holds true despite the wholly unintentional foul play, firmly maintaining his hold on his victory despite his injury. 

"An incredible victory by the Black Knight, fighting not for glory, but to honor the crown prince!"

The crowd erupts in uproarious applause despite the Black Knight's far more measured response, doing little more than raising a fist in celebration of his victory. 

Dimitri is astonished he's even able to do that much, given that his thigh was cleaved into. 

It takes some time for the crowd to thin out, Dimitri waiting until Ingrid comes to collect him, still in full knight's garb. 

"The victor is granted an audience with me, is he not?"

"Yes," Ingrid says slowly, still somewhat out of breath. "But he's disappeared."

"What?" So much for unmasking his mystery knight. "Was he not injured?"

"Yes, and we offered him medical assistance, but he said he preferred to fix himself up. Then I turned my back for one moment, and--"

He shakes his head. "Never mind that, I suppose. It's not as though he'd done anything… wrong. You performed admirably today, Ingrid."

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"In light of the Black Knight's absence, we'll feast in honor of both of you tonight at the banquet." He turns to Ashe, feeling a headache slowly but surely developing behind his eyes. "Might I ask you to inform Dedue? I can only hope that Felix will have been located by then."

"Of course, Your Highness."

Dimitri sighs, worrying a loose thread at the edge of his sleeve. He's almost grateful not to have to worry about an audience with the tournament's victor, not when his mind is already busy enough fretting over Felix's absence. He's felt unsettled for hours now. Is this how used to Felix's presence he's become, how dependent on him? 

Leaving the grandstand, he resolves to aid in the search effort.

&

Felix ends up being found later that evening when he walks into the great hall to join the post-tournament festivities, claiming that he'd simply been tired and had taken a nap. 

With the anxieties of the day melting away alongside Felix's return to his side, it's easy to allow himself to sink into the good mood that being halfway into his second mug of mead inspires, Dimitri still gushing about the Black Knight's performance by the time they retire to his chambers. 

"You had to have been there," Dimitri says, pouring the two of them another helping of wine. "He was utterly spectacular-- and opposite Ingrid, no less. You know of her talent in the joust, of course-- oh, Felix, if only you'd had the chance to be there and witness his performance yourself! And all in the hopes of… ah, impressing me? He's certainly done that."

"Mm."

Returning to their spot before the fireplace, Dimitri sets both mugs down. 

"He didn't even desire an audience with me. I have to wonder why that is. To dedicate his victory to me, and yet not wish for any sort of reward… I do confess that I find it rather puzzling."

"Mm."

"And yet-- noble, certainly." Letting out a soft sigh, he traces the rim of his mug, thoughtful. "Leaving like that… it is most mysterious. I should very much like to speak with him. If only the tournament had been longer-- I do so wish you'd seen him, Felix!"

"Mm."

A beat passes. A brief glance up finds Felix gazing into his own mug of wine, all in all looking rather put out. Pouting? Grumpy? Not that it's an unusual state of mind for him, and yet… 

"Felix? Are you quite all right? You have been rather quiet."

Reaching out to touch on Felix's thigh proves to be a mistake-- he hisses sharply, flinching as he moves away from Dimitri's touch as though it had burned him.

"Felix--?!"

For a long moment, silence hangs heavy between them, Felix's eyes going wide. Finally-- 

"It's-- nothing. I'm fine."

Dimitri lets the silence settle back in before deciding to speak again. "Are you… are you hurt?"

" _No_." The word leaves Felix's mouth through gritted teeth, barely a breath between Dimitri's question and his answer. 

"Please," he hears himself say, long before he even knows exactly what he's pleading for. Then again-- they both know that Felix is lying. "Allow me to… at least see it."

"It's on my _upper thigh_ , boar."

"Even so."

Felix's cheeks bloom red, his gaze firmly fixed on the ground as he moves to stand, undoing the lacing of his pants to push them down.

Even through the bandages he seems to have affixed himself, it's an angry wound, looking all too much like the ones he's ended up with on the wrong end of a lance. "How did you even hide this?"

"You were drunker than you realized." A beat. "Still are."

A pang of regret runs through Dimitri then, his thumb tracing the outline of his wound. How could he have missed it? How--

Dimitri's eyes go wide, Felix letting out a sharp hiss of pain at the pressure of his thumb at the edge of his injury, involuntary. Drawing back his touch, guilt strikes true even as Dimitri finds it overwhelmed by realization, blinking up at him in awe.

"You," he whispers, breathless despite not having done anything to earn the word. "It was _you_."

He's not met with denial. Instead, Felix's cheeks burn bright, his gaze askance, arms crossed in front of his chest tightening their hold, seemingly protective.

"Felix--"

Whatever Dimitri was about to say next, the words aren't permitted escape, not when Felix grabs hold of his front and pulls him up into a kiss.

It lasts all of three seconds before Felix lets go of him again, scoffing as he draws back to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. 

"Fuck," he mutters, and promptly flees. 

The emptiness of the room takes a bit to settle in. The fire is still crackling, their mugs of wine remain untouched, and Dimitri's fingertip is slowly tracing his lower lip. 

Felix kissed him. 

The knowledge settles, hard and heavy, in his gut. He didn't have enough time to kiss him back. Barely even had enough time to process what was happening before Felix was out the door. 

He bumps into no less than three pieces of furniture as he makes his way back to his bed, but sleep refuses to come to him. The canopy above him keeps a firm grip on his gaze even as his mind remains entirely on Felix.

Felix… is he in love with Felix? 

How long has he been in love with Felix?

How could he have missed the signs? Missed that Felix-- his mind skids to a stop. 

Is Felix in love with him? For so long now, he's always assumed Felix to hate him. He kissed him, yes, but-- that means little. Perhaps it was the mead, the festivities, the simple desire to stop Dimitri from speaking. Why else would he kiss him only to flee?

His mind still reeling, Dimitri gets up to go sit at his writing desk. The only solution for it is to tell Felix how he feels. Nothing could possibly be simpler. 

&

Poetry, as it turns out, is not all that simple to write, Dimitri giving up after several scrapped attempts before finally making his way to the castle library to search the boundless tomes there for answers. 

Suitors, as the book informs him, often chose to woo their intendeds with serenades or poetry, modeling their own actions after those of characters in verse or on the stage. 

Dimitri, deficient in both ability to sing and the ability to write any amount of poetry, resolves to go another route altogether: he decides to put on a play at the castle.

The intent is two-fold. For one thing, it gives him yet more of an excuse to spend time with Felix. Organizing a play, though undoubtedly something that will inevitably and in large part fall unto his steward, does require Felix as a liaison of sorts. Communicating his wishes, coordinating the matter with the rest of his court, sitting in on his meetings with the playwright set to work with the hired theatre troupe… 

And-- for another, it forces Felix's hand in speaking to him.

It's an unfortunate necessity: following their kiss, Felix has done little more than the bare minimum with regard to speaking to him. Direct questions are answered with single words and if there is a chance to leave a room with Dimitri in it, he will take it. 

His commitment to avoiding Dimitri is almost impressive, truly-- or would be, if it didn't come with so many hurdles. After all-- Felix is the first person to see Dimitri each morning and the last to see him before bed. He aids him in his daily wardrobe and ensures his happiness. 

Or, at any rate… he is meant to, not that Felix has ever cared much about duty. 

"Your Highness," Ingrid starts, moving to stand beside him as he watches the theatre troupe practice. It's been one week since Felix-- more or less-- stopped speaking to him. Dimitri already knows what this conversation is going to be about. "I truly mean no disrespect, but… you needn't put up with him. Not when he's like this. Not… at all, really. He's hardly even doing his duty anymore."

"You know as well as I do that he has every reason to hate me. As do you."

Ingrid scoffs. "No, I don't. Glenn is-- _was_ \-- his own person. He could make his own decisions. Just because Felix isn't willing to accept that doesn't mean that he should be allowed some kind of free pass to disrespect his king."

"I'm not his king yet."

"You might as well be. All that's missing is a royal wedding, right?"

The pained pang that runs through his chest as he looks toward Felix is telling enough. The thought of marrying anyone else… 

"Forgive me, Ingrid. I'm afraid I am feeling rather tired all of a sudden. Perhaps we might be able to continue this conversation at a later time?" 

Ingrid doesn't miss a beat. "Of course, Your Highness."

&

Though the troupe is inevitably set to perform for the masses as they embark on their tour of Faerghus, today's performance is exclusive to the castle, a small makeshift stage set up in the great hall for the residents and staff to witness. 

It takes some doing, but Sylvain ultimately manages to drag Felix out of his chambers to take his seat beside Dimitri. 

The play doesn't start until his arrival. It's something Dimitri is endlessly grateful for-- not only because the players didn't have to listen to his request to delay their performance, but also because the play is an idea of his own creation, brought unto paper and transformed into verse with the aid of a talented playwright. 

And Felix is, after all, the guest of honor. 

The play tells of the forbidden love between a knight and a princess, kept apart by the princess' status and the societal expectations upon her shoulders. As the knight holds no title, their love cannot be. 

With the princess dramatically proclaiming her love for the knight against all odds, the curtain falls, Dimitri's heart racing in his chest as he looks over at Felix. 

Surely he understands. Surely Felix would know his intended meaning. 

But instead of so much as meeting his gaze, Felix simply waits for the final curtain to fall before getting up and leaving the great hall altogether. 

He ends up missing dinner, one of Dimitri's pages informing him that the lord chamberlain has been holed up in his room all evening "working."

He resists the urge to go see him, to check on him even when Felix doesn't show up for his nightly duties in Dimitri's chambers. 

Doubts unfurl as he clumsily undresses. Was he wrong in his assumptions? Mistake Felix's kiss for something more than an ill-begotten idea brought on by the romantic light of the fire, the taste of the wine between them? Perhaps Felix was drunker than he thought.

Or perhaps he simply wished to shut him up, as he'd theorized before. 

But then-- why dress up as the Black Knight? Why hide his identity even while dedicating his victory to him? 

Dimitri is halfway into a mug of wine when there's a knock at his door, prompting him to scramble up and answer it before Felix-- if it really is Felix-- changes his mind. 

"Felix," he says in greeting, his heart in his throat. Felix isn't meeting his gaze, but that means little-- until he thrusts out a roll of parchment toward him.

"There," he says simply, gesturing for him to take it. Dimitri does, unfurling it slowly to unveil not any manner of beautiful prose, his own feelings in verse, but a list of names. "You can get married now."

He's gone before Dimitri can so much as think to call him back, his face falling as he looks at the list. All women's names, all high-ranking members of the nobility.

Is that what Felix was made to think, then? That Dimitri was rejecting him? That he wished to… get married to a princess? That he wished for Felix to marry?

That, much as he wished to be with Felix, he couldn't on account of his station?

He feels ill, Dimitri sinking onto the seat at his desk. Is this what Felix has been working on all evening? Is it a misconception that drove him to leave without a word or the intent on seeing Dimitri deftly rejected?

Picking up his quill, he resolves to try again. 

&

His second attempt at communicating his feelings falls on similarly flat ears. 

This time, the pageboy he sent to serenade Felix with his poetry returns with the news that Felix wasn't even willing to listen to it. Trying to send him the poetry on its own results in the parchment being crumpled up for use as kindling in the hearth. 

So he decides to utilize a somewhat different technique.

Felix is always training at this time of day, Dimitri stepping into the training yard to clear his throat. A stray attendant still in the process of cleaning some of the equipment gets the message and leaves, but Felix doesn't even bother stilling his blade, let alone directing his attention to Dimitri.

"Felix."

" _What_ ," he snaps, dealing a particularly hard blow upon the training dummy before him. 

"Ah… I was hoping we could talk."

"No."

He sighs. "You don't even know the topic as of yet."

"I know I don't want to talk about it."

"Well," he starts, watching as Felix keeps hacking away at the dummy, "in that case, allow me to simply… speak. I am fully aware that you've been avoiding me. I don't know the exact reason, but I do know that I wish to… ameliorate this however I may be able to. For both of our sakes."

Felix scoffs. 

"As you are unwilling to speak with me under normal pretenses, perhaps you might be willing to consider an... alternative."

Felix stills his blade. "Speak, boar."

Progress. 

"A wager, of sorts?" Walking over to the weapons rack, he grabs a sword to pull off the wall, testing its heft in his hand. Comfortable. "Quite simply: we duel. If I win, you must allow me an honest conversation. And if you win, I will…" He takes in a deep breath. It leaves him shakily. "I will leave the matter alone."

Felix's jaw twitches, the look in his eyes clearly considering the offer.

"Till first blood?"

Dimitri nods, the air between them heavy. 

"... fine." A beat. "But don't come crying to me when you lose. Because I absolutely won't."

Dimitri nods, testing his sword with a few swings as he gets into place opposite Felix. 

Their swords strike true in their clash, seeking out each other as if on instinct. Not that Dimitri thinks himself much better-- each time they break apart, he finds himself magnetized toward him once more, drawn in to meet Felix's sword with his own not for the sake of the duel, but for the sake of being close to him.

Their dance continues for a bit-- dodging, striking, dodging once more-- until they're both left panting. One would hardly think Felix injured, so desperately is he overcompensating. 

Is he truly dreading the thought of Dimitri winning so terribly? Of speaking to Dimitri at all? 

His heart clenches at the thought-- so much so that he briefly loses his footing, enough to give Felix an entrance. 

But instead of drawing blood, he simply lays him flat, his body atop Dimitri's to keep him pinned, blade at his throat. 

"Yield, boar."

The air between them crackles electric, Dimitri's gaze dropping to Felix's lips not for the first time over the last few days. Is that why the blade is there? To keep Dimitri from acting on his-- _their?_ \-- desires? 

His heart beats loud in his chest, loud enough that he wonders if Felix can hear it. If he could only pull him down to kiss him--

"I yield," he whispers, soft. 

"Good. Glad we settled that," Felix says, and climbs off of him-- only to promptly flee from the training grounds. 

&

Felix's door, typically a perfectly normal thing, has never looked so tall and imposing as it does tonight. 

Dimitri lifts his fist to knock, hesitates, and lowers it again. 

He cannot leave the matter alone. Even if it means going against his word, he's not sure how he could possibly continue to rule with Felix by his side while ignoring his feelings. Their feelings, perhaps. 

If Felix doesn't care for him, then all the better that he should know now. So he might rid himself of his own selfish desires in his own time. Not knowing, however--

He takes in a deep breath and knocks. 

Silence reigns for a few long moments before he hears the shuffling of papers, the scraping of a chair, the steady footfalls of Felix's gait as he approaches the door. 

More silence. 

The first thing he sees as the door slowly opens is Felix's dagger pointed at him-- promptly followed by Felix's accompanying glower. 

"It's just me."

Neither the dagger nor the glower moves so much as an inch. 

"Go away. Or do I need to beat you a second time to drive the point home?"

"I wouldn't mind," Dimitri mutters, gaze downcast.

"Unless it's to do with castle business, I don't care," he says, and starts to close the door on him.

He doesn't get far, Dimitri inserting his foot in the doorway to stop it from closing. "This... is actually castle business. If… I might be permitted to enter?"

Felix steps aside, however reluctantly, gesturing for him to come in. He looks tired even as he sets the dagger back down, watching Dimitri close the door. 

"A castle matter, then. Out with it."

"It, ah." He smiles, strained, the expression oddly stifled. "It's to do with the crown prince's heart, you see. He's rather lost it, you see, and so the list you procured for me will be far from viable, I'm afraid."

"Speak plainly, boar."

"If the... crown prince were to have fallen in love with someone improper, someone forbidden— even knowing the life they would be confined to, stealing kisses and tender caresses in the dark corners of the castle— do you think that his chamberlain could ever... accept his heart, despite all their hardships and differences?"

Felix is quiet for a long time as Dimitri's heart threatens to both stop beating and burst out of his chest all at once. 

"You're a fool," he finally says, gaze cast askance. "This isn't a castle matter at all."

Feeling his face fall and shoulders slump, Dimitri lets out a long breath. 

"I… understand. Of course, Felix." 

Wordlessly turning back to the door, he's stopped seconds later by Felix's hand on his arm. 

"That doesn't mean you should _leave_ ," Felix snaps, wrenching his hand off of him again so he might cross his arms in front of his chest.

Caught in the luminal space between Felix and the door, Dimitri hesitates. "Do you want me to stay?"

It's Felix's turn to falter, his hands falling to his side, propped up on his hips, ever-defiant. "No. I don't know."

"Well," Dimitri says slowly, tone soft, terrified of scaring away the frightened, wounded animal that is Felix. "I would like to stay."

"Don't see why you'd want to."

Limned by the firelight behind him, the few lit sconces lining the walls and the lantern on his desk, Felix looks beautiful. Having reached out to grab him, to keep him from leaving, the distance between them isn't too great. He could just… kiss him. 

If Felix is too afraid, the least he can do is take the decision out of his hands. 

Closing the distance between them, Dimitri cradles his cheek as he leans in to kiss him, soft, tentative. 

Felix doesn't kiss him back.

By the time he pulls away, Felix's eyes are wide, startled, disbelief coloring his gaze. 

"I… must have misunderstood," he whispers, taking a step back. 

Recognition seems to dawn in Felix's eyes a mere second later, eyes going wide once more as he grabs hold of Dimitri's front. "Don't you dare," he says, and drags Dimitri back in close to him to kiss, hard. 

Where his own kiss was soft, this one is desperate, frenzied between them, Felix's hand running up into Dimitri's hair as he pushes him up against one of his bedposts. 

The unexpected impact is enough to make Felix grunt, his leg wrapping around Dimitri's hip in open invitation, one he isn't about to refuse. 

Grabbing Felix at the top of his thighs, he lifts him with ease, their kiss uninterrupted as Felix promptly wraps both legs around Dimitri's waist. 

A startled moan escapes him. Felix, just as hard as he is. 

Perhaps he shouldn't be surprised. How long has Felix been in his same predicament? Just as long, if not longer? 

Pulling him back off the bedpost, Dimitri allows the two of them to tumble onto the bed, their kisses becoming more feverish in turn. Distantly, vaguely, Dimitri is aware of the fact that Felix is undoing his laces and buckles, anything he can get his hands on to get him undressed, and all of a sudden the prospect of intimacy becomes more real, more urgent. 

They've been denying themselves long enough. 

Drawing back from their kiss to rest his forehead against Felix's, Dimitri sighs, his hand moving to the lacing at the front of his pants. 

"May I…?"

"Foolish boar," Felix whispers, his cheeks red even by the light of the fire. "If you have to ask again, the answer will be no."

His smile widens, Dimitri deciding to take Felix's answer for what he knows it to be as he starts undoing the laces. He doesn't stop until his hand touches on bare flesh, his breath hitching alongside Felix's, a hand tightening in his hair. 

"Don't tease," Felix snaps, Dimitri unable to help but smile. 

"Of course, Felix. I wouldn't dream of it."

Shifting down his body, undoing the fastenings at his front, Dimitri rains kisses down on exposed skin, Felix's breath coming faster the lower and lower he goes. Nosing at the top of his groin, Dimitri revels in the sound of a hiss from him, only made louder when he kisses his way up to the tip… and takes the head in his mouth.

" _Ah!_ " Felix cries out, his head pressing back into the mattress as his fingers twist into Dimitri's hair once more. "Fuck--"

Taking his sounds for the encouragement they are, Dimitri sinks down, greedy in the way his tongue runs over and caresses his cock, tasting him with all the desperation he truly feels. To show Felix just how he's felt for the last several days of torment. 

Felix, for his part, seems to be lost in the sensations of it-- both physical and emotional. Lewd as they are, his moans feel fiercely private, a glance for Dimitri and Dimitri alone into the depths of Felix's heart. 

Reaching out toward him, Dimitri's hand finds his to interlace their fingers and squeeze. 

The closest he can come to saying _I love you_ with Felix's cock in his mouth. 

Bobbing his head up and down, he revels in the noises that escape Felix, gasps and moans coupled with the bucking of his hips, only barely restrained in the interest of not choking Dimitri.

Not that Dimitri would mind. Not so long as it's Felix. 

His free hand moves up to cup Felix's balls, a strangled moan escaping him as he arches up again, helpless. " _Fuck_ \--" he gasps, blinking down at Dimitri with a groan. "Close--"

He pulls back and off of him for all of a few seconds, just long enough to wet his fingers upon his tongue, before taking Felix in his mouth once more, his pace atop his length faster, deeper than before.

"Fuck-- didn't you hear me, boar--?! I said I was-- _ah_ \--"

He doesn't allow him to finish the sentence before Dimitri eases a wettened finger inside of him to thrust-- and curl. 

Felix swears again, sharp and loud, hips jerking up as he comes in Dimitri's mouth with a sob. When Dimitri finishes swallowing him down and does get the chance to look up at him, he finds his arm covering his face. 

"Felix," he whispers, concern coloring his tone. 

"What's keeping you? Put another finger in me."

"I'm not sure if--" he starts, but then falters. Felix will be upset with him, no doubt, if he were to deny him his request on account of not thinking him capable. 

So he presses a second finger into him and a kiss upon his cock. 

"Ah, _boar_ \--" The hiss that leaves him is negated almost instantly when Felix adds, "don't you _dare_ stop."

He knows him well, Dimitri realizes with a small smile, gently thrusting both fingers inside of him. Slow to start, scissoring as he continues, and then-- gradually, slowly faster. 

Felix, after all, seems to be able to take it, his hips aiding him as he half-fucks himself on Dimitri's fingers, little whimpers accompanying each movement. 

It's how Dimitri knows that he can add a third, Felix gasping at the intrusion as his hips quiver and still. 

"Fuck," he mutters. "Just how big are you?"

Allowing Felix to get used to the sensation of his fingers inside of him, he pulls back from their entwined hands with some reluctance, sighing softly at the parting before turning his attention-- one-handed and somewhat awkward as a result-- to tugging down his pants and pulling out his own cock. 

"Three fingers aren't enough, Felix," he whispers ruefully, watching as Felix lowers his arm to stare, eyes wide. 

"How are you going to fit that thing in me, boar? Never mind that; how do you even wear pants?" Far from looking fearful, though, Felix looks, if anything, more turned on, his hips rutting up against Dimitri's fingers once more. "What are you waiting for? Add a fourth." 

Pushing his hesitation aside, Dimitri complies, biting down on his lip as he adds a fourth to start gently thrusting and curling-- until he has Felix panting and writhing beneath him again. 

"You look so beautiful," he whispers, pressing a soft kiss to the inside of his knee. "I--" His breath stutters in his throat. "I love you, Felix."

In place of the censure he expects to receive in return for his feelings, he instead watches as Felix turns his head into the pillow, his cheeks turning red for all of two seconds before he resolves to hide behind his arm again.

" _Embarrassing_ ," he mutters, Dimitri's smile widening in response. His embarrassment doesn't dominate for long, however-- not when Dimitri twists and curls his fingers inside of him, eager to reduce him back to little more than sounds and whimpers, soft gasps and--

"Fuck-- _ah_ \--! Put it in already, boar! Damn tease--" 

Reluctant as he is to hurt him, Felix's words leave little room for argument-- and so he withdraws his fingers to the harried sounds of Felix's pants before aligning himself in their place. 

"I'll go slow," he whispers, pushing into him as gently as he can manage. 

He stops with each and every hiss, continuing only when Felix becomes impatient and snaps at him-- or urges him on with his heels. With his legs wrapped around his waist like this, Dimitri pressing more and more of his length inside Felix, he realizes that he's never been closer to him or anyone than in this moment. 

Felix is the one who forces him to stop after the head is in, his ass clenching desperately as his body fights to adjust. 

"I'm fine," he finally says, most likely far too early for his own good. "It's fine, you can-- move."

Instead of complying, Dimitri leans down to press a kiss to his lips, soft. "Let's wait just a moment or two longer. I don't wish to hurt you."

"We're well past that point," Felix mutters, face red. "You'd have to take your giant dick out of me for--"

He doesn't get far attempting to withdraw from inside Felix, his eyes going wide as his legs tighten around Dimitri's legs this time, keeping him inside. "Don't you _dare_."

His movement has the unintended consequence of pushing Dimitri further in despite his best efforts not to, his head falling forward as he gasps and bucks, guilt coursing through him as he feels himself bottom out.

Beneath him, Felix shudders. 

"Don't stop," he whispers, Dimitri shaking his head. 

"I'm-- I didn't mean to--"

"No, it's-- it feels fine. No-- good. It feels _good_ ," he says, rolling his hips up against Dimitri's to draw a loud groan out of him. "If you love me so damn much, move already."

Dimitri isn't willing to leave him begging a second time, drawing his hips back to push into him again. And again. 

They find a rhythm quickly-- panting and gasping together as Felix clings to Dimitri in a way he'd never expected him to. It's so oddly intimate and vulnerable that his heart melts, Dimitri holding him close as he keeps meeting his hips with each and every thrust. 

If Felix's noises are anything to go by, then he must feel good-- little moans and whimpers accompany their movements, Dimitri speeding up as he reaches between their legs. 

Felix is long hard again, hot and throbbing in his hand as Dimitri strokes him, his thrusts starting to stutter and waver in rhythm bit by bit.

He's close, he realizes. 

" _Dimitri_ ," he gasps as he comes, Felix's head tucking into the crook of his neck, his body shuddering and clenching around his cock.

The sensory cornucopia Felix offers him in that moment leads to him almost missing the true gift he was handed then, only briefly overshadowed by the way his body begs for him to come--

\-- and Dimitri does, ever-obedient as he bucks his own groaned release inside of Felix.

Felix, who called him _Dimitri_ instead of just boar.

His cock is still throbbing inside Felix by the time he's curled himself up beside him, legs tangled and hair fully mussed. He pays it no mind, even if Felix is still quivering somewhat in his grasp with his own orgasm.

"I love you," he whispers, brushing some of Felix's hair out of his face. "You were magnificent."

"Yeah, I… that," Felix mutters, gaze cast askance. It's enough of a response for him, who knows it to be an answer in kind. _I love you, too._ "Whatever," Felix continues, "where'd you learn all this shit, anyway?"

"Mm?"

"All… everything we just did." His cheeks are aflame.

"Oh." Dimitri smiles, his own cheeks tinging pink. "I… ah… researching poetry, I… came across a few volumes in the library, and…"

" _No_."

"They were _annotated_ ," Dimitri whispers with a bright, boyish grin.

"It wasn't Sylvain's handwriting, was it?" Letting out a gruff sound, he turns his attention aside. "We're going to the library tomorrow. And you're showing that stuff to me."

"To… see who wrote it?"

"No," Felix says, and, if it's possible, his cheeks burn an even brighter shade of red. "Research."

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me about dimilix on [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/androugenius)!


End file.
